


Operator

by tehkittykat



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Gen, how it should have ended
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-04
Updated: 2015-11-04
Packaged: 2018-04-29 20:19:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 333
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5141213
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tehkittykat/pseuds/tehkittykat
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Nick Fury gets a phone call from a dead man. It may or may not have brightened his day.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Operator

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Omnicat](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Omnicat/gifts).



There wasn’t any damn way the phone should even be ringing. It was a burner, for one, and the cheapest piece of shit Nokia that could be acquired in ten minutes yesterday for another.

There again, given the number in the caller ID, maybe no bet as to why the damn thing was ringing. It seemed to be the season to pay the piper, and the rest of his bills had come due. Why not this one?

“Fury.”

“An LMD, Nick? _Really_?”

“You’re sounding good, for a dead man.”

Coulson snorted on the other end of the line, the familiar hard click of a round being chambered clear over the phone. “Do you have any idea how disconcerting  it is to be planning to take yourself out? Not in the metaphorical sense.”

“There was time sensitive—“

“Spare me the bullshit.”

“You made it clear you weren’t coming back.”

“Just because I consider almost dying a good reason to take a vacation—“

“And how was Tahiti, anyway?”

“ _Magical_ ,” Coulson deadpanned. “The sun, the beach, the human trafficking ring… But let’s not get diverted. You gave it _my team_.”

“They weren’t technically your team yet.”

“Technically correct is not the best kind of correct. Are there any other surprises besides the fact that I’m probably a wanted criminal in twenty states thanks to my awesome robot double, and I’m going to have to personally un-fuck the heads of some of SHIELD’s brightest that you want to spring on me, or does interrupting my first vacation in fifteen years to clean up one of your bigger mistakes pretty much sum it up?”

And that was Coulson pissed, all right.

“What, no itemized list?”

“Natasha posted _that_ on the internet,” Coulson said, “I’ll be in touch. Try not to do anything dumb before then.”

“You always were my one good eye.”

“And get an eye exam.”

Nick set the phone down gently when the obnoxious call ended beep sounded. If he was grinning, there weren’t any witnesses.


End file.
